WARNING: I am about to share some highly confidential things in the world of women.
It’s embarrassing and a little crazy, but it’s 100% true. In fact, I’m pretty confident I’m not the only woman who does this. (I know because every woman I asked confirmed my theory.)
You see, the Notes app on our phones is home to all sorts of nasty details, but there’s one specific type of text draft that every woman has stored away in (and agonized over) at some point in her dating life.
It’s top secret – but not today, dear readers. Because I’m pulling back the curtain on what we actually wrote… and it’s not good for you. Not at all.
Let me describe the scene for you.
It’s 1 a.m., and you’re tossing and turning in your bed, your phone the only light in the room, as you furiously type away on your Notes app. Not drafting your next big novel or grocery list — you’re crafting the perfect breakup text.
Yes, a breakup text. Because you can’t just send that text without going through a ton of drafts, edits, and rereads. You want it to be just right.
It sounds a bit ridiculous and rather dramatic, but for many of us it is a very real midnight ritual.
Recently, when I was struggling with my own dating issues and considering sending the “it’s not your problem, it’s my problem” message (even though it was definitely his problem), I had an epiphany.
The Notes app on our phones holds a secret library of unfinished breakups, what-if scenarios, and emotional exorcisms.
Why do we feel so reluctant to send those text messages, but feel compelled to draft them?
Personally, I find them to be really cathartic. It allows me to record all of my angry thoughts without actually having to vent to my current partner.
At 1 a.m., everything seems more dramatic than it actually is. That missed call or quip about your outfit may replay in your mind over and over again until you become completely consumed by anxiety and decide, No, it’s time to end this..
The crazy thing is, nine times out of ten, you’ll read your draft the next morning and realize you sound like a crazy person, but the problem wasn’t actually that big, and thank God you only wrote a draft and didn’t send it.
But look through any woman’s phone and you’ll find a frantic draft of text messages like the one I almost sent last week.
In fact, as I was scrolling through my phone, I found three such photos, all taken during various dates I’d been on over the past few months and years.
Hell, there’s even a Gandhi quote in there.
Here’s another secret I shouldn’t share… We often send these draft texts to friends to get their opinion on whether we should send them.
These emails are always sent in the wee hours of the morning because dating crises take precedence over sleep. Wake up, my dearest girlfriend, there is drama to be resolved.
There are many times when you wake up the next morning to a text from your friend that says, “No! Don’t send that,” and he or she tells you that you sound crazy.
But here’s the thing: If you’re constantly writing drafts of breakup texts in your Notes app, does that mean this guy isn’t your permanent partner? If you’re often tossing and turning late at night and feeling really annoyed about something he’s done, then maybe we should be sending those texts.
Since I’m in a bad mood, here are some other things you’ll find in the Girl’s Notes app:
- The name of the man she had sex with.
- The name of the man she wants to have sex with.
- Baby names – I have a list, but I don’t even want any for my own kids.
- Business concept.
- Here’s a list of sad movies to watch when she needs a good cry.
- Porn links to really good content that you know will work, if you know what I mean. What? It can’t be just me…
So let’s be honest: if Instagram is where we show the best parts of our lives, then the Notes app is where we find our true selves.
Some of us have meltdowns in the middle of the night, some of us need to be reminded of who we slept with, and the manifesting list includes everything from a dream wedding to a house with an ocean view.
So, my dear good friend, if something tragic happens to me, please find my phone, stomp on it a million times, and throw it into the deep ocean.
No one should be able to see the contents of my Notes section. No one.